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How to Enjoy a Fulfilling Sex life

Give yourself time. As you age, your sexual responses slow down. You and your partner can improve your chances of success by finding a quiet, comfortable, interruption-free setting for sex. Also, understand that the physical changes in your body mean that you’ll need more time to get aroused and reach orgasm. When you think about it, spending more time having sex isn’t a bad thing; working these physical necessities into your lovemaking routine can open up doors to a new kind of sexual experience.

 

 

Use lubrication. Often, the vaginal dryness that begins in perimenopause can be easily corrected with lubricating liquids and gels. Use these freely to avoid painful sex—a problem that can snowball into flagging libido and growing relationship tensions. When lubricants no longer work, discuss other options with your doctor.

 

 

Maintain physical affection. Even if you’re tired, tense, or upset about the problem, engaging in kissing and cuddling is essential for maintaining an emotional and physical bond.

 

 

Practice touching. The sensate focus techniques that sex therapists use can help you re-establish physical intimacy without feeling pressured. Many self-help books and educational videos offer variations on these exercises. You may also want to ask your partner to touch you in a manner that he or she would like to be touched. This will give you a better sense of how much pressure, from gentle to firm, you should use.

Try different positions. Developing a repertoire of different sexual positions not only adds interest to lovemaking, but can also help overcome problems. For example, the increased stimulation to the G-spot that occurs when a man enters his partner from behind can help the woman reach orgasm.

 

The G - spot

 

The G - spot , or Grafenberg spot , named after the gynecologist who first identified it, is a mound of super - sensitive spongelike tissue located within the roof of the vagina , just inside the entrance . Proper stimulation of the G - spot can produce intense orgasms . Because of its difficult - to - reach location and the fact that it is most successfully stimulated manually , the G- spot is not routinely activated for most women during vaginal intercourse . While this has led some skeptics to doubt its existence , research has demonstrated that a different sort of tissue does exist in this location .

 

 

You must be sexually aroused to be able to locate your G - spot . To find it, try rubbing your finger in a beckoning motion along the roof of your vagina while you ’ re in a squatting or sitting position , or have your partner massage the upper surface of your vagina until you notice a particularly sensitive area . Some women tend to be more sensitive and can find the spot easily , but for others it ’ s difficult .

If you can’ t easily locate it, you shouldn ’ t worry. During intercourse , many women feel that the G - spot can be most easily stimulated when the man enters from behind . For couples dealing with erection problems , play involving the G - spot can be a positive addition to lovemaking .

 

 

Oral stimulation of the clitoris combined with manual stimulation of the G - spot can give a woman a highly intense orgasm .

Write down your fantasies. This exercise can help you explore possible activities you think might be a turn-on for you or your partner. Try thinking of an experience or a movie that aroused you and then share your memory with your partner. This is especially helpful for people with low desire.

 

 

Do Kegel exercises. Both men and women can improve their sexual fitness by exercising their pelvic floor muscles. To do these exercises, tighten the muscle you would use if you were trying to stop urine in midstream. Hold the contraction for two or three seconds, then release. Repeat 10 times. Try to do five sets a day. These exercises can be done anywhere—while driving, sitting at your desk, or standing in a checkout line. At home, women may use vaginal weights to add muscle resistance. Talk to your doctor or a sex therapist about where to get these and how to use them.

 

 

Try to relax. Do something soothing together before having sex, such as playing a game or going out for a nice dinner. Or try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or yoga.

 

 

Use a vibrator. This device can help a woman learn about her own sexual response and allow her to show her partner what she likes.

Don’t give up. If none of your efforts seem to work, don’t give up hope. Your doctor can often determine the cause of your sexual problem and may be able to identify effective treatments. He or she can also put you in touch with a sex therapist who can help you explore issues that may be standing in the way of a fulfilling sex life.

 

 

Maintaining good health

 

 

Your sexual well-being goes hand in hand with your overall mental, physical, and emotional health. Therefore, the same healthy habits you rely on to keep your body in shape can also shape up your sex life.

 

 

Exercise, exercise , exercise

 

Physical activity is first and foremost among the healthy behaviors that can improve your sexual functioning. Because physical arousal depends greatly on good blood flow, aerobic exercise ( which strengthens your heart and blood vessels ) is crucial. And exercise offers a wealth of other health benefits, from staving off heart disease , osteoporosis , and some forms of cancer to improving your mood and helping you get a better night’ s sleep . Also , don’ t forget to include strength training .



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